Chuckles

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Chuckles

Postby dave hindle » Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:29 pm

With thanks to the Halifax website whence the following were purloined, these are some extracts from genuine letters received at various council offices (any of these come to Chorley, Locki?!)

...it's the dog *no swearing please* that I find hard to swallow......

...my toilet seat is cracked, where do I stand?

...50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are just plain filthy......

...our toilet seat is broken in half, and is now in three pieces.....

...I wish to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6 o'clock his cock wakes me up and it is all getting too much for me......

...the man next door has a large erection in his back garden, and it is unsightly and dangerous......

...I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night......

...so please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife....

...I have had the building inspector down on the floor six times now and still have not received any satisfaction...

...this is to let you know that our toilet seat is broken and we can't get BBC2...

...our kitchen floor is damp and we have two children and would like to have a third so please send someone round to do something about it...

...I am writing to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage....

***********************************************************

And from the same source -

Chap meets his mate in the pub.
"What you been doing today?"
"Oh, I went down to my allotment and I took the dog with me for the first time."
"Oh right, did he enjoy it?"
"Think so, when I let him off his lead, he ran over to this cabbage and started trying to shag it"
"You're joking, what was all that about?"
"Obviously, he thought it was a collie!"

TEE HEE!!
dave hindle
 
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